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A Sea of Wilderness

"We do not always recognize the wilderness when we first cross its borders." Christie Purifoy ~ Roots & Sky

It happened gradually for me… similar to the sea.
At first, there were calm waters… followed by a strong wave of misery.
Next, there were raging storms… which made me so lost I couldn’t see.
Then, there was a lull in the pain… Unfortunately, this just sailed me towards disbelief.
Suddenly, I'm in the eye of the storm… The rain is so thick, the waves beat and beat me.
Finally, all is calm and it is night at sea…
A deep, mesmerizing calmness exists on the open water.
This calm makes me falter.
I wonder surrounded by the great waters and full starry sky...
Was it all a fictitious lie?
I really don’t know what to believe.
Due to absence of strong waves and the presence of extreme fatigue, 
I wander and wonder vaguely sure… 
Will anyone fine me?
I am lost at sea.
~
I would definitely describe my wilderness like that of the sea. As I struggle through PCOS, chronic fatigue, insomnia, and a weakened immune system. I truly wonder: ‘What is happening to me?’
First there is pure sunshine like a beautiful day on the beach. Then, there is a flare up of issues like strong ocean waves. Next, there are rough seas with problems arising on all sides. Followed by extreme fatigue and feeling like I've lost 'me' and not sure of how things should truly 'be'.

What a relief to know we have a Lord who brings His children through the wilderness...no matter the scenery of that landscape.
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