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A Night on the Battle Field

I recently wrote a post titled, “A Day in the Life”, which describes some of the more basic and daily struggles of battling PCOS, chronic fatigue, and insomnia. This post builds on that premise and shares some of my internal battles.

I have always believed in praising God no matter the circumstances, yet I have come to more fully realize a truth.
Our Lord does not call us to praise Him after the storm has passed.
He desires us to worship Him even in the midst of the unsettled times.
Knowing and realizing God’s truth are not always the same thing…
Realizing and living His truths are not the same either.
Then, there is sharing the Truths our Father gives us to His other children.

Sharing with others as we walk in the wilderness is DEFINITELY different than knowing, realizing, or wandering all together.
In theory it is so much easier to share battles after they are won.
Battles currently being fought don’t seem to call for sharing or celebrating especially when it feels like night has fallen and I am losing the war.

Night time struggles on the battle field:
My job requires confidence and I don’t have any…
All of my health issues play in to one another…
It feels as though each night I sharpen the enemies’ tools.

My marriage requires accepting truth and love…
All of my health issues lead me to feel too battered to hear truth and too bruised to accept love…
It feels as if I have built a wall against the very vessel that could help protect me.

My body needs attention and a higher ranking in priority…
All of my health issues discourage me from focusing on and attending to physical needs.
If feels as if my body is unable to do the actions that will save it.

My mind is in shambles.
All of my health issues have wrecked my mind beyond recognition.
If feels as if my mental game is completely gone.

My heart is broken.
My soul is despondent.
All of my struggles combined have left no room for my heart to hope or my soul to grow.
If feels as if I am watching my life instead of living it.
And then I turn to the Heavenly Father.

My heart can be found in Jesus.
My Spirit rests in the Lord.
All of my health issues I have not completely given to him – UNTIL NOW.
It feels as if I’ve been trying to do this on my own.

Praise God! 
His mercies are new every morning. 
The night will end, and I am not alone. 
I am in Him.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul,
    ‘therefore I will hope in him.’”
Lamentations 3:23-24

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